Checking out of the Hospital

My white counts came up to 2300 after the second Neupogen shot...from 600 the day before. It came at a price during the night. I had an exceptionally sore lower back and combination heartburn, chest pain. Very uncomfortable sensations all around. They gave me a unit of Morphine which only dulled the lower back pain and made the heartburn worse. Whatever they gave me to treat the heartburn didn't work at all. Honestly, I'm not positive that it was heartburn. The pain as it turns out is the Neupogen's effect on the bone marrow. It stimulates white blood cell growth which occurs in the marrow. Once I realized this, I made some peace with the pain knowing that it was fixing me.

Your mind and body play tricks on each other at night in this condition. I went through bouts of trying to will the pain away followed by tossing and turning. I got up to research others' experiences. This was probably the most helpful activity.

The doctors justify no use of ibuprofen because they don't want it to mask a potential fever. I understand it in my case where they needed to verify 24 hours of zero fever before I left the hospital, but for future doses of Neupogen, I'm going to take some Ibuprofen shortly after the shot. For me, the pain lasted about 12 hours at a higher threshold than I would care to impose upon anyone for any reason....lesson learned. The reward was clearly evident thought. I had counts of 2300, up from 600, 6 hours from the injection. Counts of over 1000 are basically mandatory and above 4000 preferable. Since Neupogen continues to work well after the 6 hour mark (and since my back still mildly hurts), I think it's safe to say that my white count will continue to rise for a period of time.

The silver lining to this story is that the nodes above my collarbone feel visibly less bulky, still there, but not nearly as chunky after just 1 treatment. In addition, Karen and I have had some of the most heartfelt conversations and crying sessions as we both realize how bizarre and fragile this short ride really is. I can honestly say that I've never cried as hard as I cried once I heard that my white counts were up to 2300. Besides my fever breaking the night before, it's the first glimmer of hope that these procedures actually work as intended.

I'm not sure how you'll achieve this in your life, but have you ever had tears of joy? I'm not talking about the few tears that fall out while you enjoy a happy moment. I'm talking about a full-on blubbering that you can't stop because you are so happy and relieved. It was a first for me and it is an incredibly liberating experience.