Five hours after my first treament, I'm feeling relaxed with a moderate headache in the top of my head. I usually get headaches in the temples so it's a strange feeling. The nurse said that the anti nausea provided during treatment was supposed to last 12 hours, but it seems to be wearing off a bit sooner so I went ahead and popped the first oral med for that at 10pm. The feeling is a bit surreal, but not painful or particularly frightening. Probably the oddest things are the somewhat random cold sensation and hot flashes. Disconcerting is probably the best word. Oh, and Jack said that my breath smells like 'poop'. That's his generic word for bad. I brushed but the chemo is so strong that it actually leaves you with 'medicine breath' to a pretty high degree. Oh, yeah and the fairly cute girl who administered my chemo indicated no 'hide the hotdog' for 48 hours. I think she's trying to break up my marriage in her passive aggressive way. I don't blame her. My port is pretty hot. I'm writing because I'd rather not try to go to sleep. Hoping I will just fall asleep at the keyboard.
Tim Moses and I had a great video chat over iChat while I was receiving the treatment today. Somehow he managed to keep his clothes on. Jeff, you're next.
So the way I see it, life is a beautiful thing. It's here for us to take chances, pursue dreams, fall in love, carry on meaningful conversations, laugh at one another, show compassion towards others, find the win-win in business and personal interactions, and teach our kids the same. I think I've always known these things and have practiced it within limits. We all know the areas in which we each fall short and are often afraid to admit it. But fixing the little defects in ourselves one by one can be the most rewarding achievements. Even the tiny ones.
No to overly politicize this, but more than ever I believe that proper treatment of various ailments cannot be varied based upon ability to pay. I am no more deserving of the incredible professionals at my disposal than a destitute homeless person. My life is no more important than his or hers. I'll happily help foot the bill for those in need because I strongly believe that our forefathers missed a major point when they stated only life, liberty and pursuit of happiness. Health would have been a nice word along with those three.
Writing helps keep my mind off of my body so I expect I'll be doing it often.
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Your breath always smells like poop, no biggie :-P
ReplyDeleteAnd bring on the iChat, but I make no guarantees about the extent to which I'll be (or remain) clothed.
Regarding your last point, I'm almost embarrassed to admit that I watched Michael Moore's "Sicko" the other night while desperately trying to shake the effects of a too-late-in-the-afternoon macchiato. Despite Moore being a big, theatrical turd, I must admit the movie has some salient, thought-provoking points.
Anyway, glad you're doing well so far... oh, and I wonder if Karen would become a Hulkess if you irradiated her during sex. You gotta admit that'd be pretty cool.
Jeff
Sounds like your macchiato had some extra sauce in it...go to sleep! We didn't get back in from South Carolina until 8:45 and we had to stop in Chattanooga for fuel. It was just embarrassing on my approach. Approach was basically my seeing-eyed dog leading me to the runway. I was feeling pretty sheepish by the time I landed.
ReplyDeleteBill - paragraph #3 should be a Mantra. I'm not sure I've ever seen such a great life philosophy compacted into so few words. Good stuff.
ReplyDeleteSee you soon,
Chip
hang on. the chemo is a rocky thing, sometimes worse than the cancer alone. but that hot/cold thing is typical. is your nose dripping yet?that's a really attractive side effect. and don't you just love your port? i feel like a cyborg.
ReplyDeleteyes, absolutely, health should have been included in amongst those life and liberty words. health is a right, not a privilege.
i know it will seem kind of hokey at first, but please read randy pausch's 'the last lecture'. his 8 most important things are posted on my wall:
1. Choose to enjoy every day and have fun with family & friends.
2. Keep a sense a humor.
3. Assign a time & a place to cry in order to release emotions (caveat: if you aren't crying, then no one else gets to cry. no dumping emotions on the cancer patient).
4. Carve out quality time with your spouse or partner.
5. Make time for activities that give you pleasure.
6. Lead a healthy lifestyle--sleep, exercise, nutrition--to keep your spirits up.
7. Accept help, tell people what you need and appoint a communications 'gatekeeper'. (tim is mine.)
8. Take advantage of professional counseling.
love, jeanne m. (the name showing up is my writing name on google, just to confuse you)
Hey Bill - 3rd paragraph I'm printing out and putting up somewhere that I'll see it! Very well written. I'm thinking of you...as are Scott, Mom, Dad, Glenda, and Mel...and again, if you or Karen need anything at all that we could help with, all you need to do is call!
ReplyDeleteJanice
Jeanne, yes but I prefer Ironman!
ReplyDeleteJanice, good to hear from you.
ReplyDeleteVery well written! It's hard to believe you went to Vanderbilt Engineering.
ReplyDeleteWhat makes you think I had all my clothes on during the iChat?
I have a picture from that iChat I'll post on Facebook.
Hey Bill, Just catching up on your post. Life IS a beautiful thing....always best when shared with others. Life is also a journey, best traveled with others. On my journey, I've stopped asking myself who or what God is because I'm so much more energized by what I believe in- love, peace, mercy, grace, forgiveness, compassion, beauty, truth.....and healing....these combined ARE God for me. But not matter what you call it, I hope this part of your Journey will continue to bring you hope, joy, peace and constantly improving health!
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I shared your news with Will Hodgkin. He sends his best wishes for recovery and wellness.
If you need me, you know you can call me.
Peace,
Thos.